Stepping Out

In just 2 short days my journey to Uganda will begin. I never imagined that my spiritual journey would take me so far from home. Yet, I feel the call of Africa pulling me. I can’t fully explain it. So many people have asked me why I would want to go somewhere so far. I do after all have a very large and young family. I have been asked, how can I leave my kids for so long? I have been warned of all the dangers, the risk of being kidnapped, the risk of malaria and other serious sickness. I don’t have an answer. Other than that I feel Africa calling me. I feel like God has something there that he wants to show me. Something that I can bring back to my children. Something that I can share with other people. That is not to say that I have no fears about the journey. I do. But I also have faith. Faith that my life is in God’s hands. My faith is stronger than my fear. If I lived in fear of doing anything out of the “normal”, I don’t think I would ever be fulfilled. I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the life that I have if I never made risky choices due to fear.
People ask what we are going to be doing on this trip. At this time there are so many purposes to the trip, I usually just answer that it is a missionary trip. But I am not sure if I feel worthy of a title. Especially one that co notates a level of “goodness”. I am flawed in so many ways. There are skeletons in my closet. I am trying to set an example by the life I lead now. I learned (and still learn) from my mistakes and try not to repeat the same ones that I have made in the past. I hope my children can see that as they are growing older. I teach a college age bible class in our church, I am open with those kids about some of the things that I have done so that they see that I am real. And that I am only saved by the grace of God. I could never be good or perfect enough to deserve what He has offered. I want them to know that they will make mistakes and things can seem like they can never be fine again but they can come through it and be strengthened by it. If they trust God enough to rely on Him in everything, amazing things will happen in their lives. If they listen to what he wills for their life, He can transform them completely. I am a testament to that! I never thought I would be completely happy. I am now living a life full of love. I love those kids that I teach enough to be real with them and to share our real Father God and what he is doing in our lives. I love God, I love my family, our friends and our church. I feel a tremendous amount of love coming back. It is amazing really. To go from feeling unloved to loved. It is quite the experience.
I do for sure have a nervous excitement about traveling so far from my family and home. I am after all a mother. What if they need me? I have heard the stories from missionaries that live and have lived there. But I still cannot even imagine what it will be like there. What the land will look like. How it will feel and how it will smell. I cannot fathom the conditions in which the people are living. I can’t image the ways that sickness has taken its toll on that continent. I have seen poverty. I have seen unthinkable images on TV. But to be seeing it with my own eyes and touching it with my own hands will be an experience that I am not sure I will be able to communicate in words. I can’t wait to meet the people. I can’t wait to hear their stories. I am most anxious to learn of their faith and witness it first hand. I have also heard of the unfailing joy that some of those people have despite their circumstances, and I can’t wait to share in it. I can’t wait to see what I will learn from them. Most of all I can’t wait for God’s purpose to be revealed in this journey that he has laid for me.
I hope that my journey will inspire you to step out. I hope that you will listen to God’s calling in your life whether leads you across the street or across the globe. It is my sincerest hope that other people will not discourage your journey by instilling their fears in you.
Bon Voyage!