Adventures in Potty Training- In 7 days

Yes, the time has come again. Our baby is ready for potty training. Once again I will be running through the house, toddler in tow, just to make it to the bathroom 3 seconds too late. I will be doing the “potty dance” of victory to help enthuse an otherwise unenthusiastic event. Really, why is potty training such a big deal? And why do parents get so freaked out about it? Of course our grandparents trained their kids before they were 2, so there is the pressure of living up to those standards. But really does it matter if they are 2 or even 3 before they get it down?

After doing this 4 previous times, I would like to share with you a little bit of my “wisdom”.

Here are some signs that they *may be ready. Number 1: By far the most important thing is that they are able to follow a command. Like, “go get your shoes” or “bring me the remote” or “hurry! run to the bathroom!” .

Number 2: They are staying dry through the night. This is not necessary but it sure makes it a lot easier. And not a fool proof sign because some children take longer to stay dry all night because they sleep hard or whatever. It is less confusing if you are not having to put them back in a diaper before they are put to bed. Are they big kids..or not?  Three of mine stayed dry all night before they were officially ready.

Number 3: They show interest in the toilet. Really, you can not make someone pee. Especially a 2 year old someone.You can’t make a 2 year old do much of anything for that matter.

Number 4: OK, this is a no-brain-er but they really need to be able to pull their pants up and down somewhat. It takes practice but they need to be able to grasp the concept.

Pick one week that you can pretty much be tied to the house. Try to go out as little as possible. This will be the training part. Give them all they want to drink all day. They do after all, need a reason to go to the bathroom. Get a good timer because you will be using it. A lot. Get one of those sturdy little one step stools. You don’t need one of those little disgusting miniature potty chairs. I wouldn’t even buy one of the ones that fit over the seat right away, you might find you just don’t need it. Mostly it is unnecessary, and makes a smaller hole to aim through, and a bigger mess. Not to mention that if they don’t have to hold on to you or the seat to keep from falling in, they will most likely be using their free hands to unroll the entire roll of toilet paper …and be trying to wipe themselves, and not be focusing on the task at hand.  If your kid is all freaked out about falling in, I would opt for the little thing that fits on the seat. (we tried a few different kinds and this one is hands down the best for boys and girls)

Get a lot of the really thick training underwear. I am talking 10-15 pair. And maybe a few of the waterproof cloth training pants for naps and bed time. Although, if you are already cloth diapering you could just throw on a diaper cover over the underwear, but only for sleep though. Remember, you want the to be able to pull their own pants down. NO PULL UPS, ever! It truly will make the process take months. You don’t have time for that. You are a Mom, you are busy. Let’s get this over with!

So here is the plan. On day one, first thing in the morning you are going to talk to them about being a big girl or boy and not wearing diapers anymore, you are going to use the toilet like all the other big people.. yada yada yada. Do not make a huge deal about it. Do not make it out to be this hugely exciting thing. Because honestly it is not. It might be for you but that is only because you are not going to have to change diapers anymore. But for the child it is just an interruption to their play time. The novelty of those new underwear is going to wear off- quick.  Just be matter-of-fact. You are going to tell them his is what we are going to do because you are old enough and smart enough listen to your body and to use the toilet. So you introduce their new duds and get dressed for the day. The catch is you start with wearing only be the underwear and a tee shirt. For ease of use. And for less laundry. If you go quickly enough, you might catch that morning pee. Immediate success.

Set the timer for every 15 minutes. Yep, you heard me every 15 minutes. Like I said, its training. Practice makes perfect. Generally I stand right in front of them and let them wrap their arms around my legs and rest their head on my legs and put my hands on their back. It helps them to feel more stable. And later keeps their hands of public toilet seats. Talk gently while they sit for a minute. But don’t read books or distract them too much.  This is business, remember? And don’t push it, when they are ready to get off, let them. Tell them they did good whether they *went* or not. And if they do go, praise them, clap, sing a little song, give a hug, let them know you are proud. And most off all let them flush! They will love it. And this is what they will come back for. Seriously. They will want to come back just to flush the toilet. That, and the hand-washing. Make sure you wash their hands every single time you visit the restroom, whether they go or not. Its part of the fun, not to mention a really good habit. You might even want to let them use some hand lotion.

Great times to have them try to go are right when waking up, before and after eating meals. And later before you are leaving the home, and once you reach your destination. Again it is just a good habit to get in to.

There are going to be lots and lots of accidents. Just be cool. It is part of the process. Don’t give in to frustration. Because you will get tired of wiping up pee from the floor for the umpteenth time. If you can, get someone as back-up. Summer time is good because you can hang out outside a lot. Don’t forget to push liquids! You are going to get tired of going back and for to the bathroom and washing their hands every 15- 30 minutes for days, but I promise when it is done in a week, it will totally be worth it.

Over the next couple of days when your child starts to get the hang of it and understands why they visit the restroom, gradually increase the time to 20 minutes then 30 and so on. By the end of the week you should be going only once and hour or even two. By then they will be familiar with the *feeling* of whether they need to go or not and will probably be telling you when they need to. And if they tell you they need to go, take them every time they ask. Try to encourage them to practice pulling up and down their own underwear. By the end of the week, you can start to put pants on them. Make sure they are pants without buttons. Pants they can just pull down themselves. Sweat pants and cotton pants with an elastic waist are perfect. Oh, and you will do all the wiping, at least for a while. The whole wiping lesson is a little more complicated, especially for girls. The whole front to back thing, you know…

And please do not bribe your child into using the toilet with M&Ms, stickers, charts or any of that junk. I don’t even do the character underwear. One, because we didn’t want the kids telling everyone “hey look at my princess panties” and showing them off. And two, because they are thin (pee runs right through them onto the carpet) and they are uncomfortable and itchy.  Kids are smart. They will use a bribe of candy or treats as a weapon. I swear they will start pooping their pants the minute you start with-holding M&Ms and stickers. Make potty training a lesson in accomplishment. Let your child feel good about being grown up and doing grown up things. Don’t ruin this valuable lesson in self esteem with a bribe.

I have never had potty training take more than a week with my method. I have done it for other moms. I have lots of mommy friends who have given it a shot and have never had one tell me it didn’t work. Assuming that they were ready of course. If I saw that they were putting up a huge resistance I would stop because they may not be ready. (for the record, I have never had to) If they were just being stubborn (as sometimes children are) I would stick it out. Make sure you are consistent. Even the birth of a new sibling or move shouldn’t affect whether they get it or not. But you are their parent, and if you listen to your instinct, you will know if your child is ready or not. I am not telling you they will never have an accident, because they will get busy playing and its inevitable. But really your child will be proud of what he or she can do, and they will feel good about themselves. The is really one of the first lessons you can teach your child in self esteem.

Stay tuned for next week’s chronicles of Amelia’s training.

If you try my method and it works, will you give me a shout? I would love to hear your story.